I always talk about positivity, giving efforts in relationship, how to handle your spouse and all kinds of hunky-dory stuffs. But, actually there are times when you need to say “It’s over”. Life and people around us don’t always work according to our likings. And, you should always try to mold according to the situation. But, there is a limit of stretching an elastic band. So do a human can change or adjust up to a limit and after that it feels worthless to compromise and patch up. When is the right time to end a relationship ?
There are different nature of people in this world. Some are short-tempered however, other’s are calm (Don’t give a shit) or Sly (stay calm outside but from inside bursting with fire). We meet different kind of people in our whole life. And, very few people are there with whom we have to deal seriously on this issue because you bond with a relationship with them. Initially, everyone needs to adjust to the situation. But, when things go out of control one should quit just for the sake of her own happiness. Because, I heard somewhere:
“If you are not yourself happy, then, you cannot keep other people happy in your surroundings”
I find this true and now let’s see what are the situations which are unacceptable from your partner. And, one should quit if this is happening in the long run.
1. Physical Violence:
Never ever compromise with any Physical Violence happens to you. This is not only when your partner harm or beat you but also when he try to harm himself trying to stop you to discuss the issues. Physically harming someone is so wrong because nobody has the right to touch you or, have sex with you without your permission. If your partner harm himself because of anger, then it is equivalent to violence. It not only hampers your mental health, but you feel shit scared of discussing your issues with your partner in the future. This will impact your relationship because you look after options outside to share your problems with.
2. Using Abusive Language:
There are situations when thing goes out of control and one of the partner use foul language in anger. I am not saying to accept that bullshit, but I am just saying to ignore it ones or twice just because the same partner does good things to you as well. But, when this abuse happens frequently in every fight, then, it’s the right time to say “Look, I am not here to listen this fuck”. Make plans to leave everything as soon as possible. As, if someone can’t respect you he doesn’t deserve to be with you in good times as well.
3. Defending his parent’s always:
Parents are an important part of any person’s life and maybe they must be right in most of the cases. But, when you have a responsibility of your spouse, then it is very important to give equal care and respect to your partner as well. There may be times when the fight will happen between parents and your partner, but you should take stand for the right thing rather than favoring your blood relations. If this inequality happens to you then, say bye bye to this relationship because trust me, you don’t want to live as a third priority your entire life.
If your partner is cheating on you and you caught him red handed then there is no way you should accept him that way. Because, this mistake can be repeated in future, but this time with more precautions. Don’t keep your self-respect on stake just to behave like a happy couple in front of society. I feel society is the most hypocrite creatures on this planet who talk bad for everyone and in every situation. So, just for the bunch of people don’t ruin your entire life and forgive a man who was making love behind your back.
5. Hiding his family secrets:
As a women’s prospective, if you marry someone you left your family, friends, sometimes job behind just to accept the new things. If your partner is hiding his bank balance, property, family issues, then you should initially talk to him if there is any trust issues or what. And, if this is happening again, then this is not called “marriage” for god sake. It is just a living relationship where you two are together for sex and some fucking household works.
For a relationship to last forever, it is very important to have love between you and your partner. Family responsibilities, traditional values, kids, society all these things are just to fucking stop you from doing the right. Love is important between a couple due to which you do things which is required to be done by your end happily. If it is just a matter of responsibility, then, adopt a dog and take care of him rather than being with someone who just needs you. Remember, needs can be fulfilled with a maid who can cook for him and sex can be done with a slut where no love is involved.
7. Taking Stand:
There are few people who cannot fight for themselves because they are not comfortable to create that fighting situations in the family. But, there are some weird creatures in the family who pinpoint you without you being interested in their lives. Who will take a stand? You should yourself, take stand, but if things are going out of control, then your partner should pitch in. If, instead of standing for the right making good relationships with those weirdo’s is more important than, pack your bags and imagine your life alone. Because, he is anyways, not with you.
8. Shouting in front of kids:
It is both the partner’s responsibility to give a good direction to their kids and keep them out of your fights. But, in case one partner is uncontrollable during fight and kids watch this every time you fight. Then, you are not only spoiling your life being with some who is uncontrollable. But, also your kid’s life whose chance of being like he is almost 60% because they grew up watching all this shit.
9. Victim card:
If every single time when you look up to him to solve any issue, he plays the victim card then this is something not right. It is possible that he is burdened with lots of family and financial responsibilities due to which he cannot entertain you every time. But, when you seriously need him during depression, anxiety or anything which is bothering your mind since long then, he should be available for that. Both partner’s sacrifice a lot of things, but always victim card don’t work.
10. Blame Game:
Ah!! That’s the most dangerous thing which happens in a fight. In the initial stage of marriage, it is fine to blame someone for any mistake because you don’t know your partner properly. But, when your relationship ages and still you blame each other for any problem rather than showing maturity, then rethink if you are at the right place or not. During the heat of the fight it is obvious that no one wants to say sorry and accept his mistake. But, once the time passes and you analyze the situation, then, the partner with fault should initiate to say sorry.
11. Ego trip:
Everyone has an ego and they have right to show it. But, when it comes to relationship there is no ego, which is superior and stay for a longer period of time. If in fights, ego trip of both the partners is so strong that you feel ashamed to realize your mistake and say sorry then, this marriage has some loopholes which need to be fixed. Either of the partners should end the fight before going to sleep but, if this is not happening then don’t bother yourself much and give a second thought.
12. Not respecting families:
Marriage is not only the bond between a couple, but between two families where each family gets an additional family member as a son or daughter-in-law. And, both partners should respect each other’s family and make efforts to share a good bond with them. One partner’s initiative is not enough because obviously the other partner feels ditched of not getting the same respect from their loved ones. Marriage is all about give and take, you give love and you should get love in return and vice versa.
13. Being yourself and non negotiable:
If in this course of marriage suddenly you find that you are not you. In marriage, one has to make so many adjustments and compromises that they lost their main essence and their USP. Everyone has to make adjustments, but loosing what people loved you for being something which reminds you to rethink that if you really want a 360 degree change for anyone.
14. Finding your voice:
Are you someone who can’t control to raise her voice for wrong before marriage, but now can’t talk much because you feel that leads to fight? Find your voice because that got buried underneath societal pressure, the myth of a happy marriage and an illusion of a perfect family in front of your kids. You need to speak up because if you will not, soon you are going to call your doctor for depression’s medicine or need to go to counselor because you don’t have guts to talk to the right person.
All the above situations seem to be well known to most of the people, but we think that this is not such a big deal to say someone that “it’s over”. Most of the women want to say this, but can’t stand by it because they feel that they are not capable enough to earn bread and butter. Or, I should suffer for my children’s future.
But, trust me it’s not worth it. I always write articles on positivity, handling situation of depression, and giving a chance to your relationship. But, you should not stop loving yourself in any phase of your life. Devoting your life to your loved ones is best you can do for yourself, but, by not by keeping your own wants and happiness at stake. By the way, if you want some positivity in life, then I would suggest you to read this amazing book by “Mark Manson” which is “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck “.
I believe, that when your partner loves you passionately, then he has all the rights to show his anger on you. But, there is a very thin line between anger and violence. You deal with his anger but violence of any kind is unacceptable. Every woman needs to be independent to build the feeling of confidence in herself. In the above article, I have no mean of provoking anyone and to break up without giving a second chance. Everyone needs a second chance and read my other articles on dealing with your relationship.
After workings in an MNC since ages, I noticed that I am not able to find my real happiness in spite of getting handsome salary every month. Then after baby, when I had no option, I became an accidental blogger and started writing on life issues and emotional traumas people go through in life. I realized that this is what I love to do, and that’s my passion. Like every woman, I also love makeup, shopping, and eating and have a YouTube channel where you can find me showing my hauls, makeup, and much more. Not to forget I love traveling as well and in short in love myself and happy go, lucky person.
Feel free to contact me if you have any life related issues or need any suggestions. Also, I am quiet good in telling which makeup product is good and which you should avoid so I can also help you with that.