People say marriages are “Made in Heaven”. Is it really true or just a myth? How to make your marriage work?
All these questions arise in your mind when you are going to take a big decision of marrying someone. Choosing someone with whom you are going to spend the entire life and all of a sudden when you start living with him you find him a totally different person altogether. Now, what will you do? You can opt for divorce, but that’s not the solution to the problem because that comes with lots of mental stress and society pressure. You can give your marriage a chance and follow some steps which can make your marriage work and let your partner understands you in a better way.
Before talking about what to do to improve your relationship. We will throw some light on “what not to do” to worsen up the situation.
Withholding Sex
It’s pretty obvious that when we fight it is different to bear each other’s face. . You feel like stepping out of the house and never look up to your partner. That’s because in the fight sometimes you use such harsh words to hurt your partner and win the fight. These words revolves around your mind for hours and sometimes for days. But, due to these fights never withhold sex for a very long time. Try to forget things and come closer to each other because the physical relationship plays a key role to get emotional connected with your spouse.
Never cheat your spouse
The main pillar of happy marriage is trust and honesty. There may be times when you fight with your spouse & is upset. Then, suddenly you got a message from one of your admirers whom you are not in talking terms since years. It seems like a ray for light in extreme darkness, but just remember that all these happiness are temporary. You should keep your partner in loop in case, someone is showing interest in you and try to concentrate on your marriage rather than feeling joyful about the situation.
Lying
Lies works as a slow poison in any relationship. Be honest and share your daily routine with your partner before going to sleep. Hiding something is equally wrong. If you are hiding finance, personal life or some important facts from your spouse, then this is equivalent to dishonesty. It is ruin your bond of trust for lifetime, which makes the relationship very weak and lifeless.
Abusing your partner
Using abusive language while talking is so not acceptable in any relationship, be it mother, father, child or spouse. There are some times when you lose control and talk whatever you feel will hurt the other person. But, before using any abusive word or cursing your spouse just remember that how will you feel if the same happens to you. Instead, try to avoid these kind of extreme situations and walk off for some time just to cool down the matter.
Independent attitude
Being independent is the demand of the society and now when people want luxury lifestyle it became a necessity. But, always showing an independent attitude and behaving as if you don’t need anyone gives a hint to your partner that you don’t need him in your life. This can loosen interest in the relationship. Even if you really don’t need anyone but don’t hesitate to show your dependency for love to your partner.
Now, that we have discussed upon what not to do to save your relationship. Let see what you should do to keep everything in place and feel happy about your partner.
Clear Communication
The key to every good relationship is to communicate your feelings honestly and never hide anything from your spouse. There may be situations when what you feel will end up having a big fight. For that, you should learn how to present your thoughts in a more decent way rather than just bluntly saying anything inappropriate. And, rather than arguing about what you don’t like, try to discuss in a healthy manner. In short, the main motive should be spilled out what is going on in your mind rather than keeping it inside which will bust out in the future in a bad way.
Couple Time
Whether you are living in a joint family or nuclear family, you should take out time for yourself as a couple. Try to go for a date once in a while or take out some time for you two as a couple to talk your heart out. After marriage, there are so many responsibilities that makes it very easy to lose romance and this couple time will help you to let the fire of love intact.
Point of View
In marriage, two people from different culture, families and sometimes cities come together and spend their entire life. It’s obvious to have different point of views, different eating habits and lifestyle. Rather than forcing each other to accept what the other person is saying try to accept disagreements. One should accept that everyone has their own choices and we should not force anyone to change and show their acceptance on everything.
Patience
Patience is very important not only to save your relationship, but also to live a satisfied and fulfilled life. Reacting to every situation is important and most of the times you should let things go. Especially, in a marriage couple there are many factors which can create arguments like family issues, time crunch, over responsibilities or lack of understanding. The only way to solve most of the issues is to either talk about it with calm mind or just ignore what happened for the sake of your relationship.
Trust Building
Trust is so important between a couple because it not only gives a sense of freedom to the partner but also increase love in a relationship. Suspecting your partner every time he/she comes late or talking to an opposite gender friend will act as a termite and will eat your bond slowly. Instead of that you should be open up and talk to your spouse freely if you are facing any trust issues.
Thankful Attitude
There are very rare occasions in life when you thank your partner for doing so much for them and how lucky you feel to have him/her in your life. This is a very important practice to do because there is no harm in being expressive sometimes. If you find yourself luckier for how your partner care for you than, say that in words. This will give a motivation to your partner to do more good things to you in the future and he will feel happy about you are recognizing his efforts.
Plan a Holiday
In case, everything is messed up in your relationship due to outside factors. But, you both still love each other and want to hold this relationship, then plan a holiday and spend time with each other. Holidays not only refreshes your mind, but also gives special moments to cherish. There are chances that due to over family responsibilities, couples may feel lost and fight a lot. In this case, just leave everything for some time and get out of those responsibilities and enjoy.
Love
This point is most important out of all the above points. Love is the key factor why we take so much of efforts in the relationship. If you feel that there is no love between you two, then, there is no point of taking so much of efforts and wasting your entire life. Love is very important between a couple and all the care, trust, sex and patience will automatically come if you love each other. But, if your relationship has no love, then, doing all this will not be justified.
In my opinion, marriages are not made in heaven. Rather than living in this myth and expecting a perfect life, you should think to find someone you love. When you love someone, you will automatically ignore most of the imperfect habits in him. The key to a happy marriage is expecting less and giving more which will surely happen to you when your partner will recognize your efforts and give you even more. Marriage is not just a bunch of responsibilities, but, it is a bond of love and trust which helps in living your entire life with a single person. You can also check what “Sadhguru” has said about “Emotion and Relationships“.
After workings in an MNC since ages, I noticed that I am not able to find my real happiness in spite of getting handsome salary every month. Then after baby, when I had no option, I became an accidental blogger and started writing on life issues and emotional traumas people go through in life. I realized that this is what I love to do, and that’s my passion. Like every woman, I also love makeup, shopping, and eating and have a YouTube channel where you can find me showing my hauls, makeup, and much more. Not to forget I love traveling as well and in short in love myself and happy go, lucky person.
Feel free to contact me if you have any life related issues or need any suggestions. Also, I am quiet good in telling which makeup product is good and which you should avoid so I can also help you with that.
