Divorce is a life changing experience not only for a couple, but for the whole family. It’s a phase where parents are struggling through a difficult time and children have to suffer as they go through a lot of emotional trauma. “Life after divorce” can be different depending upon the reason of divorce and the financial stability of both husband and wife. Here, in this article we will discuss the impact of divorce on children.
If a person is going through a lot of physical violence and emotional stress then the decision of divorce can be a better option for kids in the long run. Leaving your partner is itself very difficult decision and thinking about how it will impact your kids is a matter of concern. Not all the kids get impacted by divorce in a negative way. Some recover very fast and others take some time to come out of the situation. It all depends upon the extra care and a feeling of security given to the kids.
It is very stressful phase where parents are concerned about their kids custody and kids are worried about leaving one of the parents. If the reason for divorce is the mere lack of understanding, then children may suffer a lot because each parent to have a special place in a child’s heart.
What are some effects of divorce on children?
1. Poor Academic Performace:
Divorce is disturbing for each member of the family, but child’s mind got impacted with it a lot. Kids are not so adaptable to changes in life and divorce is the biggest change they can ever think of. This biggest change in their family and day to day living impact their mind so much and they are not able to focus on their studies. For kids, it is very difficult to understand that their parents will not be together anymore. This situation makes them distracted from studies and confused at the same time on how to handle and correct it.
2. Difficulty in accepting changes:
Children are less adaptable to changes and it is very difficult for them to be with only one parent. All of a sudden kids are flooded with changes like different school, lifestyle, family environment, friends, etc. This makes them very nervous and anxious.
3. They feel insecure:
Both parents play a vital role in a kid’s life. They act like pillar which protect kids from all the danger. The feeling loosing one parent is itself very scary and it may reduce confidence in your kid. Your child may feel less insecure and lonely.
4. Health issues may increase:
Divorce may lead to many health problems in your child. This is a process of mental stress and struggle to rebuild a new family with your kid. In all these procedures, may go through a lot of mental stress, lack of sleep and depression. All this combined together can lead to illness and bad health condition among kids.
5. Negative Traits :
It has been seen that a child who had experienced his parent’s divorce became negative and show destructive behavior. This may happen because of two reasons. First, being single parent, you are not able to give much time to your kid as you need to handle both finance and home. Secondly, being single you want to give that extra care and love to your child so that he won’t feel indifferent. Due to both situations a child may pick some negative traits like drugs or smoking.
6. Loosing faith in marriages:
Divorce between parents in childhood can leave a very bad impact on a kid. Watching your parents getting separated from each other, and all those worst after effects of divorce can make your child loose trust in marriages. Children with divorced family background are likely to divorce in their own relationship as well as compared to the children from non-divorce background. This is because they have seen their parents struggling from life situations.
7. Anger and irritation:
In some cases, it is found that the children from divorce background gets irritated and angry more often. They have low resistance power and capacity to deal with problems. They may show anger to their parents, friends, themselves and others. The reason of this anger can be there parents fights or loneliness they have borne after divorce.
8. Social Cut off:
Although, there is nothing to feel ashamed about divorce because leaving someone with whom you are not happy is not a crime. But, explaining kids about their parent’s separation is very difficult. This can be worse specially when their friends have both parents living happily and enjoying their lives. In some cases, children cut them off from society and friends because they feel ashamed of the fact that their parents are no more together. They started feeling insecure as according to them, their family is the only one who gotten divorced.
9. Kids become emotionally weak:
Divorce is a big change for family and each an every individual suffers with a lot of emotional stress. Children being part of the family go through different emotions like anger, irritation, sorrow, confusion and anxiety. Due to all the changes happening in the family most of the children are not able to handle it and became emotionally weak. They became more sensitive as compared to the their friends.
10. Kids miss the other parent:
This is one of the common thing which is seen in almost all the kids dealing with their parent’s divorce. When divorce happens the custody of the kids is given to one of the parents. But kids actually want to live with both parents in a normal way. This way they feel protected and safe. But, as this never happens in divorce so they have to live with either mother or father and miss the other one.
How can these impacts of divorce can be cured?
The above mentioned impacts of divorce can ruin a child in the long run. So, it is very necessary to take remedial action to get rid of it and making your child a good human being. Being a single parent sometimes it looks impossible to do so many multitasking for your child. But, you need to nourish your child with good sacraments to be a good example in front of society. So, here are a few points you can take care of while upbringing your child.
- Give extra care and love to the little one without fulfilling unnecessary demands. Develop your child in such a way that he/she can accept “No” in life.
- Make them independent by taking teeny-tiny help from them in household work. Keep their mind busy in some fun activities so that they don’t get time to think of any negative.
- Do not share any negative talks with your child until he became mature enough to understand things properly.
- Keep him away from people who can talk poisonous.
- Teach your child spreading love and fighting for his rights simultaneously.
- Give them some personal time while keeping an eye on what they are doing and in what company they are hanging out with.
- Never deal with angry child with anger until the situation goes out of control. Try to calm them up and show them the right path.
- Do not show love by loading them with money. Instead of money give them your time.
- Behave like friends so that your child feel comfortable to share everything with you.
Children are very sensitive and emotional. They are not able to cope up with very big changes in the family. Love and support work like wonder to boost your child’s confidence and moving on from the difficult situations. You may also read books like “When they decided to MOVE ON!: A story of a child’s love for his parents“. Feel free to comment your thoughts about the same and if you have gone through the same situation, then how you managed to grow your child with good sacraments.